Dear Ashley

I feel partly responsible for the predicament you faced the other night.  After reviewing the owner’s manual, I realized that the Tahoe only has a 26 gallon gas tank.  However, if one drives a good amount of miles, rather than remembering to reset that particular computer function at the gas station, they might be met with undesirable results.  I am okay if you want to live life on the edge.  I just think you should refrain from jumping off the cliffs in the future.  In the end, you know I love any opportunity to rescue my damsel in distress.  In this relationship, I will share anything and everything with you.  Whether it goes in your car, or whether you have fed me too many beans, I would feel myself selfish, if I did not share my gas with you.

 

Love,

Kent

Don’t Judge

When I tell you my current addiction is Teen Mom on MTV.  It was late one night and nothing was on the television.  I was flipping through channels waiting for Kent to get done with some homework when I stopped on Teen Mom and was sucked into the lives of 4 teenage mothers.  Worst yet, I’m not alone.  Kent also stays up till 11:00 pm Tuesday nights to watch.  Why aren’t we like normal couples that get sucked into Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, Amazing Race, or The Bachelor?!  Please tell me someone else shares our addiction! 

Giving the Tongue

Today during work, I was driving in Spanish Fork. I was "cruising Main" if you will. I often chew gum. The kid in me cannot seem to stop blowing bubbles with my gum. Today as I was passing a truck, I began to blow a bubble. I had my tongue pushed out with the gum on the tip of it, in the process of making yet another perfect bubble. While doing this, I innocently looked over at the person in the truck next to me. She gave me a nasty look, and I realized that it must have looked like I was sticking my tongue out at her. I sort of felt bad, but I shrugged it off as not being really heinous and laughed to myself. Suddenly the truck was next to me. The 40+ year old woman driving pulled up, stuck her tongue out at me, and then flipped me off!!!! I could not stop laughing. Did this lady really just think that while driving my work vehicle, I was going around like a three year old sticking my tongue out at people? Side note: Maybe that would be a fun thing to do one day, but I digress. If she did think that, was she really that offended by the sight of my tongue?

The more I thought about this, the more I laughed. How hilarious that this lady got so upset. I can envision her going home to her husband and telling him about the monster in the lane next to her in the enormous white van. "He wreaked havoc all over the place, him, AND his tongue!!" I can only imagine her husband trying to contain his laughter as she vehemently expressed her displeasure at our encounter. Maybe she instead went to the police and reported me for a "drive-by tongueing." I imagine that is a serious crime nowadays. She probably expressed how threatened she felt when I brandished all my concealed taste bud weapons. What she may not know is that I have a concealed weapons permit just for my tongue!

I thought it was so funny that she got so upset as to flip me off. I don't personally ever flip anyone off. Number one because I think it is a horrible thing to do. Number two, because if we got in a flip off war, I would win. I have longer fingers then anyone I personally know, case closed. I would hate to make other people feel inferior at the sight of my abnormally large middle finger. It would make me sad to see her have to look down at her dashboard in defeat. She would certainly not get one of those second place trophies for losing in this competition.

In the end, I wonder if she felt a little bit silly when we were once again beside each other and I made an enormous bubblegum bubble come out of my mouth. But, perhaps she felt even more threatened by that. :)