Go Daddy!

 

Stoplights have become quite an adventure for us lately.  While Treven and Ady get how they work, the two littlest boys have a harder time.  Nearly every time the car stops at a light, Wyatt starts to fuss.  He apparently likes it when the car is moving.  Jonah on the other hand tells whoever is driving to “go.”  He calmly and cutely says “go daddy!”  or “go mommy!”  We have been working with him to know what the green lights and red lights mean.  He will have to figure out that the yellow lights mean to go extremely fast when he gets older. 

Unscripted and Unplugged

• I asked the kids where Ashley was when we were in a store.  Ady said she knew right where she was and led us right to her.  I asked her how she knew where she was.  Ady proclaimed, “Super Ady knows everything!” This made Treven respond with, “oh yeah, what is 5,216 + 922?”  Ady then responded with “I mean everything about where people are Treven!”
• Treven was playing soccer with some friends.  The soccer ball was kicked and hit Treven hard, squarely in the chest.  Just when I thought he was going to start crying, he said, “wow, that felt weird on my heart,” then he shrugged and went back to playing.
• We hung out with some friends a couple of months ago.  The kids were all downstairs watching a “Spy Kids 2” while we talked.  Our friend went down the stairs to check on the kids.  At the end, the girl is dancing around with a tiny bit of her stomach flesh showing.  We were told that all four boys seemed to be mesmerized when one suddenly piped up and said (in a somewhat lustful way), “I REALLY like her belt!” Luckily that one was NOT Treven. 
• We were going somewhere and Treven wanted to use the GPS.  It kept directing us a different way then I wanted to go, which I knew was slower.  I told the kids it was fine and that the GPS was wrong.  Finally Treven could take no more.  He said, “do you want me to wham you mister?”………he then whispered, “I wouldn’t really wham it Dad, I am just trying to get this guy to stop being so  unreasonable.”
• On our first boating trip of the season, I told the kids we would have to move them to bigger lifejackets because they had outgrown their last ones.  They seemed sort of sad to let their last ones go.  I told them it would be okay.  When I tried the news ones on them, Treven said, “oh I like this one better anyway, the last lifejacket really bothered my penis.”  The last ones did indeed have a strap that went under the kids legs for safety, something that this new one was lacking…….apparently for the better.
• Ashley was called as the kids’ Primary teacher for the first couple months we lived in the ward.  One week she taught a lesson on being a peacemaker.  They did some role-playing.  She picked the one kid that is known as the wildest amongst their Primary class, to role-play with her first.  Before the role-playing began, Treven very clearly stated to the little boy, “you had better not mess with my Mom or my sister, or you will be messing with me.”  He said this in a quite serious, hushed tone.  He is very protective of the ladies in our family.
• When we went camping/boating over Labor Day weekend, Treven really wanted Ashley to come in the tube with him.  He kept wanting to go faster and faster.  I went  a tiny bit faster and Treven soon realized the difference two or three MPH can make on the tube.  In between laughter, he shouted out, “I am a man, I am supposed to be able to handle this!!!!”
• Whenever we are driving in the car, the kids always want me to make up stories for them.  I always ask them to give me a subject and then away I go.  One particular time I decided I was going to make all sentences in the stories rhyme.  After I had told three brief stories to the kids, Treven asked me to tell them a story about them being super-heroes.  He then said, “…and please leave out your Dr. Seuss!”

 

• Ashley bought some pink lemonade in bottles from the store one week.  We were drinking it, when Ady said that we should get it again the next week.  I said, “maybe we could save some money and make our own.”  Ady said, “I just never thought of that because I don’t know where we buy pink lemons.”  She was dead serious.
• In Sacrament one week, Ady really seemed to need to blow her nose.  I quietly helped her.  She looked down at the tissue as I was folding it up, she proclaimed (a little too loudly) “whoa, I had some really strawberry boogers today!”

Don’t Judge

When I tell you my current addiction is Teen Mom on MTV.  It was late one night and nothing was on the television.  I was flipping through channels waiting for Kent to get done with some homework when I stopped on Teen Mom and was sucked into the lives of 4 teenage mothers.  Worst yet, I’m not alone.  Kent also stays up till 11:00 pm Tuesday nights to watch.  Why aren’t we like normal couples that get sucked into Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, Amazing Race, or The Bachelor?!  Please tell me someone else shares our addiction! 

A New Invention

Our 4th of July was fantastic.  Not because we went to a great neighborhood breakfast and parade.  Not because we met up with our good friends Jason and Emily (that was a blast).  Not because we had an amazing view of the fireworks.  No, our 4th of July was fantastic because we came up with a new invention.  This invention has not been patented yet so please don’t sell our idea. 

Ladies and Gents without further adieu,

The Corn Sword

 

This is not your ordinary everyday corn on the cob holders.  These are ergonomically designed as a 3 in 1 corn holder, tooth picker, and gum flosser.  It’s kid tested and mother approved.

The Karate Stage

Trev is going through what I label the “karate” stage.  His imagination is full with superheroes, cops and robbers, and he has plenty of karate moves to fight his enemies.  He is six and I might want him to stay six forever.  I love that Trev wants to be a big tough man but is still a little boy who makes his way into my room every Saturday morning to cuddle.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed my silverware seemed to be in short supply.  I shrugged it off as needing to do the dishes again.  When the weekend came, I told the children they needed to clean their rooms.  Kent went to Trev’s room to help him and he discovered about four forks and four knives in Treven’s closet.  When questioned about the silverware, Trev’s reply was that he needed weapons to fight any bad guys that come into our house. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of my six year old with a butter knife and fork in his hand scaring off an intruder!  But I’m glad to know he loves his family and wants to keep us safe.  What more could I ask for?!

Unscripted and Unplugged

Out-take Pictures Part One

I try to make a habit of writing down most of the funny things the kids say. Often times I will also write down some of the sweet things they say as well. Here are some of the things they have said in the last couple of months:

• The kids were playing in the house in a place I could hear them, but not see them. I heard Trev teasing Ado by saying "I am a princess" (he LOVES to tease). Ado eventually got upset and said, "TREV, I AM THE REAL PRINCESS! I have both grace and beauty!"
• We got talking about wedding stuff just weeks before the wedding. Ado asked Grandma to show her their wedding album. My Mom got it down and showed her the pictures. She was so excited and wanted Trev to see. He wasn't really interested. Ado said, "Trev, you have to see it, Grandma and Grandpa were so young and beautiful!" My parents smiled and Grandma walked over to show Trev the picture. Trev glanced up, and with a bit of surprise and complete innocence, he said, "wow, you guys were young, beautiful, and handsome......and skinny too." All of us, including my parents had a good laugh at that.
• The kids came with me to run an errand. We went into an office building with stairs. The kids seemed somewhat enamoured with the protective plastic covering over the carpeting on the stairs. They kept asking me all about it, and what it was for. I kept wondering if this could really be the first time in their six years that they have seen such a thing. Finally Trev asked, "I mean, who lives here, the Queen or something?"
• I retold the above story to Ashley in front of Trev and Ado. Ashley said, "Trev, I would love to be inside of your head for just one day." Trev sweetly responded, "well guess what, you are in my mind everyday."
• I had every intention of literally taking my wife to the temple. Since I was coming to her house anyway, she wanted to do Ado's hair. When she got done, she turned Ado towards the mirror and asked, "well, what do you think?" Ado responded, "OH Ashley this is how I have always dreamed I would look!"
• A week or two after we were married, we went to Idaho for our nephew's baby blessing. The kids were so excited by our mini vacation. They especially LOVED the hotel. We had told the kids a lot about Cancun, and how they spoke Spanish there. On our way to Idaho, Trev asked, "do they speak English in Idaho?" He also could not quite grasp that we were not leaving the country, just the state. Both kids wanted to know when we had crossed from Utah to Idaho on the way there, and Idaho to Utah on the way back. Trev kept asking if we had left America yet, or if we were back in America yet. We worked really hard with him one time and explained the difference between a state and a country. We asked him if he now understood. He said he did. The very next thing out of his mouth, 20 minutes later was, "are we back in America yet?"

Our cute new nephew

• The first week in our new ward was a fast and testimony meeting. A little girl no older then 9 got up and related her testimony. She told how she was playing in a spot and something told her she needed to move. A few seconds later a large rock feel right where she was playing. When she finished, Trev (who we didn't even think was paying attention) said, "nice story little lady."

Giving the Tongue

Today during work, I was driving in Spanish Fork. I was "cruising Main" if you will. I often chew gum. The kid in me cannot seem to stop blowing bubbles with my gum. Today as I was passing a truck, I began to blow a bubble. I had my tongue pushed out with the gum on the tip of it, in the process of making yet another perfect bubble. While doing this, I innocently looked over at the person in the truck next to me. She gave me a nasty look, and I realized that it must have looked like I was sticking my tongue out at her. I sort of felt bad, but I shrugged it off as not being really heinous and laughed to myself. Suddenly the truck was next to me. The 40+ year old woman driving pulled up, stuck her tongue out at me, and then flipped me off!!!! I could not stop laughing. Did this lady really just think that while driving my work vehicle, I was going around like a three year old sticking my tongue out at people? Side note: Maybe that would be a fun thing to do one day, but I digress. If she did think that, was she really that offended by the sight of my tongue?

The more I thought about this, the more I laughed. How hilarious that this lady got so upset. I can envision her going home to her husband and telling him about the monster in the lane next to her in the enormous white van. "He wreaked havoc all over the place, him, AND his tongue!!" I can only imagine her husband trying to contain his laughter as she vehemently expressed her displeasure at our encounter. Maybe she instead went to the police and reported me for a "drive-by tongueing." I imagine that is a serious crime nowadays. She probably expressed how threatened she felt when I brandished all my concealed taste bud weapons. What she may not know is that I have a concealed weapons permit just for my tongue!

I thought it was so funny that she got so upset as to flip me off. I don't personally ever flip anyone off. Number one because I think it is a horrible thing to do. Number two, because if we got in a flip off war, I would win. I have longer fingers then anyone I personally know, case closed. I would hate to make other people feel inferior at the sight of my abnormally large middle finger. It would make me sad to see her have to look down at her dashboard in defeat. She would certainly not get one of those second place trophies for losing in this competition.

In the end, I wonder if she felt a little bit silly when we were once again beside each other and I made an enormous bubblegum bubble come out of my mouth. But, perhaps she felt even more threatened by that. :)